Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm going to say goodbye to some of you now. Let's see you reads my page. If you are my friend click like and copy and paste this to your fridge.

   I've I heard people want to boycott Beauty and the Beast because there's a gay character in it. It's okay for a teenage girl to fall in love with a rabid, hairy dog, but you can't have a gay person in a movie?

   Interviewer: You responded to my question too briefly and you were hesitant. Me: I was thinking how stupid was your question!

   My girlfriend is training for 2020 Olympics where she'll be competing in the Conclusion Jump.

   When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st, and that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about marriage

   I just called BS but it went straight to voicemail.

   "Don't MAKE me turn this beat around!" -Gloria Estefan yelling at her kids.

   You never forget your first love. No matter how hard you try.

   The truth shall set you free. Unless you are in court. Then you should probably just shut up.

   Daylight Savings Time: I say start it on a Monday at 5 pm. You wouldn't lose the hour on Sunday, and it would shorten Monday.

   Rush-hour traffic is flowing smoothly, and there are no accidents on all major freeways. #DayWithoutWomen

   It's International Women's Day. That means only the women with sexy accents right?

   "Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....

   Every problem has got a public holiday. World AIDS day, cancer day, Labour Day and today Women's Day

   Flu stages: Day one, feel like dying. Day two: Afraid I'm dying. Day three: Afraid I'm not dying...

   It's hump day, and international women's Day ... so make sure you hump as many international women as you can.

   Today is International Women's Day, It was supposed to be yesterday, but they couldn't get everything ready on time.

   Day 3 of the flu is going well so far. I managed to brush my teeth without sneezing!!

   Just had a bunch of Persian food for lunch. It was so delicious, but now I falafel.

   For those celebrating Woman's Day... A 'man' won women of the year last year...just sayin..