Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   JAB, Let this be a lesson to idiots every where, you won't get away with it. . .

   The award for the best conspiracy goes to........The Boston Marathon Bombing

   Boat on land. Worst escape vehicle ever.

   Just because you're perfectionist doesn't mean you're perfect; you might be hopelessly unhappy with yourself.

   you're saying, "... People who post things like this are why I fear for our future." Just because you're perfectionist doesn't mean you're perfect; you might be hopelessly unhappy with yourself.

   David Caruso finds the bomber dead in a boat,,,"Looks like someone could've used a...." (removes shades)... "Life preserver."

   And that's why I don't have a boat.

   if you are going to use a boat to escape make sure its in water not in water town!

   Friday Night Pick Up Line: Either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it is your choice.

   B&tch, why the fu&k you coming over if you on your period? Save your gas!

   f I show you a picture on my phone, don’t swipe left, don’t swipe right. Just look.

   If I catch my Daughter making a Twerk video with her Leapfrog video camera, imma Beat my DNA out of her!

   People say weed smokers are lazy. Well guess what as*holes, the blunt doesn't pass it self. And it sure isn't rolling it self.

   Every weekend I participate in a liquid cleanse diet... with beer.

   The only question about gay marriage is how they get along with pain and E.coli.

   It's Friday for me and Monday for my liver.

   I just burned 600 Calories working out to these Insanity Commercials.. I don't even need to buy the DVD's.

   By "lol" I mean I don't give a fu&k.

   I see Girls trying to break up with their boyfriends now cause the weather changing

   Who invented hugs? I mean..the first hug would have been soo awkward. its like"what are you doin, why are you holding me???" "shhh just trust me"