Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Doctor: "In order to find out exactly what's wrong, you'll need to see the nurse and have a blood test." " Alright," I said, "How long will that take?" "About a week." he replied. "A week with your nurse sounds Ok" I said, "But how much damn
←Rate | 04-11-2013 08:20 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not trying to impress you or anything, but... I'm Batman.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 08:46 by @PoorPickupLines Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you related to Yoda? 'Cause Yodalicious!
←Rate | 04-11-2013 08:47 by @PoorPickupLines Comments (0)  


   messageicon im going to steal my Brothers mushrooms and eat them so I can grow bigger like Mario!
←Rate | 04-11-2013 10:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sing my music, Say my name" F A N D A N G O
←Rate | 04-11-2013 11:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared 4 nuclear attacks from North Korea. David we weren't even prepared for snow in the winter
←Rate | 04-11-2013 11:11 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people don't know what's going on in your life they SPECULATE....When they think they know...they FABRICATE...AND when they do know.......they just HATE
←Rate | 04-11-2013 11:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Farting is an excellent example of faith. You are not 100% certain that something extra won't come out but still you push!
←Rate | 04-11-2013 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon you aren't single because of your high standards. You're single because you're fugly...
←Rate | 04-11-2013 12:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drop most of my money on wine, women and song. What's left gets spent foolishly.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 13:06 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a Chick inboxes me, I take 3 weeks to respond to it. That'll fu*k her Ego up!
←Rate | 04-11-2013 13:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gotta go to work and I can't find my hand basket!
←Rate | 04-11-2013 14:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife has always wanted me to learn to dance. I think I'll learn twerking...
←Rate | 04-11-2013 14:39 by onecuwldood Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you like dragons? Because I'll be dragon my balls across your face.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 14:55 by @PoorPickupLines Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time for "Team America 2" to be released featuring Kim Jong Un...
←Rate | 04-11-2013 14:58 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey ladies complaining about not getting asked out: Don't be so stuck up. Put your number on the men's room wall like the rest of us.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 15:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "All guys are the same!" Well you should know, You tried them all!!
←Rate | 04-11-2013 15:12 by Jeffafa Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope one day The Rock opens a restaurant so I can finally smell......What the Rock is cooking.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 15:15 by Deadman Comments (0)  


   messageicon This North Korea situation is turning into the slowest Bond movie ever.
←Rate | 04-11-2013 15:21 by BDB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just read that the thoughts in our heads that we tell ourselves are actually things we were told as a young child that we have taken as truth... Dear grandkid… you are smart & amazing & you are going to buy yr Gramma chocolate everyday when she gets o
←Rate | 04-11-2013 15:51 by Anita Comments (0)  



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