Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   if Bill Gates was to die & go to hell, would that make him the "Gates of Hell"?

   JAB. I'd of been a success by now if my mind would of come up with a trillion dollar idea already. . .

   To really scare Kim Jon Umm the U.S. should station a Carnival cruise ship off the sea of North Korea

   Jokes aside, North Korea needs to be stopped.

   Hey ladies who say you like it when a man chokes you during sex. Did it ever occur to you that maybe he is just checking for an Adam’s apple?

   Bacon is the fried chicken of white p eople!

   Told my dealer I wanted a sh*tload of Coke but auto-correct changed it to shipload now I owe a Colombian cartel 18 million dollars.

   Started out with nothing and still have most of it.

   You can stay, but your clothes must go.

   People that believe internet gossip are the same dumbasses that keep the Kardashians famous.

   RIP, Roger Ebert. Michael Bay can't hurt you anymore.

   Do I need to pee on you to mark my property? Cause I will.

   The only thing creepier than seeing a guy in a Speedo is seeing a guy in a Speedo staring back at you

   Sir-Mix-A-Lot wasn’t even that clever. All babies have backs.

   Life is like a high tide....But no matter how low or high the tide is, we gotta keep on surfing. The tide is high and I'm moving on!!

   Haikus confuse me-Often they do not seem to make sense-Pass me the pliers

   They dont want you to know marijuana....but I do :)

   The worst STD you can get is a kid. That 1 doesn't go away for at least 18 years.

   Went trolling on a dating website. Caught 7 trolls...

   If North Korea was to attack USA with a nuclear missile, which state do you think they should hit. Asking for North Korea.