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The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?" 
Do some people just wake up one day and think, "I already have 2 bumper stickers, why not 70?"
I'd call you a cun t, but I actually like cun ts.
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
Why deny yourself a pleasure now for the hope of adding a few miserable nursing home days at the end?
Every sentence is a sexual innuendo if you think long and hard about it.
A watched pot never boils, but an un-watched pot boils over, so I don't know what you want from me life!
You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. You can, however, make a pretty decent ham wallet.
And with the official start of baseball season today, the Chicago Cubs have already been eliminated from the playoffs.
Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jelousy and self doubt that blinds them to their own potential.
So any1 else think our's is the only nation involved every year in a war since inception? Wow! Coincidence? Or blood thirst.?
War with North Korea looming. Cast of M*A*S*H have their fingers crossed
Internet searches get you many results, most are different and leaves one more confused than before the search. As a source for answers, the much lauded "Super Information Highway" has become the "Road To Nowhere".
Unless you want to have ugly kids, never marry a girl for her inner beauty.
I'm sorry, but I can't understand a word that is coming out of your mouth, I don't speak Bone Thugz N Harmony.
You may look physically better than I do, but GRACE is d Reason Why I ALWAYS Get what you wish you had!
i still don't understand how coffee dehydrates you when it's madewith
It ain't rocket science folks, women LOVE douchebags.
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