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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
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04-02-2013 02:36
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Do some people just wake up one day and think, "I already have 2 bumper stickers, why not 70?"
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04-02-2013 02:49 by
Czovczov
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I'd call you a cun t, but I actually like cun ts.
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04-02-2013 02:52
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Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
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04-02-2013 03:00
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This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
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04-02-2013 03:21
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Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
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04-02-2013 03:23 by
Kisstopher
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Why deny yourself a pleasure now for the hope of adding a few miserable nursing home days at the end?
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04-02-2013 03:27
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Every sentence is a sexual innuendo if you think long and hard about it.
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04-02-2013 03:31
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A watched pot never boils, but an un-watched pot boils over, so I don't know what you want from me life!
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04-02-2013 06:11 by
flinnie
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You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. You can, however, make a pretty decent ham wallet.
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04-02-2013 06:34 by
Huck
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And with the official start of baseball season today, the Chicago Cubs have already been eliminated from the playoffs.
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04-02-2013 06:35 by
andrew jackson
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Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jelousy and self doubt that blinds them to their own potential.
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04-02-2013 06:57
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So any1 else think our's is the only nation involved every year in a war since inception? Wow! Coincidence? Or blood thirst.?
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04-02-2013 08:20 by
Ballzie
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War with North Korea looming. Cast of M*A*S*H have their fingers crossed
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04-02-2013 11:09
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Internet searches get you many results, most are different and leaves one more confused than before the search. As a source for answers, the much lauded "Super Information Highway" has become the "Road To Nowhere".
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04-02-2013 13:07 by
Mickey
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Unless you want to have ugly kids, never marry a girl for her inner beauty.
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04-02-2013 13:19
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I'm sorry, but I can't understand a word that is coming out of your mouth, I don't speak Bone Thugz N Harmony.
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04-02-2013 13:24
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You may look physically better than I do, but GRACE is d Reason Why I ALWAYS Get what you wish you had!
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04-02-2013 14:17 by
@divalasugar
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i still don't understand how coffee dehydrates you when it's madewith
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04-02-2013 14:30
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It ain't rocket science folks, women LOVE douchebags.
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04-02-2013 14:54
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