Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
←Rate | 04-02-2013 02:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do some people just wake up one day and think, "I already have 2 bumper stickers, why not 70?"
←Rate | 04-02-2013 02:49 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd call you a cun t, but I actually like cun ts.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 02:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gun control is like trying to reduce drunk driving by making it tougher for sober people to own cars.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:23 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why deny yourself a pleasure now for the hope of adding a few miserable nursing home days at the end?
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every sentence is a sexual innuendo if you think long and hard about it.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 03:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A watched pot never boils, but an un-watched pot boils over, so I don't know what you want from me life!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:11 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. You can, however, make a pretty decent ham wallet.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:34 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon And with the official start of baseball season today, the Chicago Cubs have already been eliminated from the playoffs.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:35 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jelousy and self doubt that blinds them to their own potential.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 06:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So any1 else think our's is the only nation involved every year in a war since inception? Wow! Coincidence? Or blood thirst.?
←Rate | 04-02-2013 08:20 by Ballzie Comments (0)  


   messageicon War with North Korea looming. Cast of M*A*S*H have their fingers crossed
←Rate | 04-02-2013 11:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Internet searches get you many results, most are different and leaves one more confused than before the search. As a source for answers, the much lauded "Super Information Highway" has become the "Road To Nowhere".
←Rate | 04-02-2013 13:07 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you want to have ugly kids, never marry a girl for her inner beauty.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 13:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, but I can't understand a word that is coming out of your mouth, I don't speak Bone Thugz N Harmony.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You may look physically better than I do, but GRACE is d Reason Why I ALWAYS Get what you wish you had!
←Rate | 04-02-2013 14:17 by @divalasugar Comments (0)  


   messageicon i still don't understand how coffee dehydrates you when it's madewith
←Rate | 04-02-2013 14:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It ain't rocket science folks, women LOVE douchebags.
←Rate | 04-02-2013 14:54 Comments (2)  



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