Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Why can't someone look at me the same way I look at pizza?

   Are you a math problem because you are confusing me and making me cry

   Hoppy Easter Everybunny

   great idea for an April Fools Prank ... Hide all of the desktop icons on someone's computer and replace their wallpaper with a screenshot of their old desktop.

   Hello 911?,,, I need to report a kidnapping....yeah, there's a baby goat asleep in my lap,,. No, don't send cops,, you'll wake him up

   Happy Jesus day aka Easter. +

   All we are saying, is give PEEPS a chance.

   Don't worry, US is headed in the same starving its population direction as NKorea. Its only a matter of years all our money will be spent on mindless defence

   you know you are great at sex when she tells her friends...and her family....and the police. :|

   Dear Heart, Please stop breaking, you weren’t made in China.

   If you recieve something that says, ”Send it to all your friends,” then please don't consider me as your friend.

   Man that Game of Thrones is a much better fictional novel series than the Bible ever is.

   I would rather have a life full of scars than one full of fear.

   “I promise”, “I am sorry”, and “I love you” all have eight letters, but then again, so does “bullsh*t”

   “Look at my face, does it look like I care?” – “Well by looking at your face, God didn’t care either.”

   I can't help being lazy. It walks in the family.

   must of had the laziest Easter Bunny come over to the house. He didn't bother to color or cook any of the eggs...plus he hid them all in my fridge.

   Now that Britney Griner's collegiate career is over....do you think he will end up with the Heat and Lebron?

   Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Other times we just snuggle.

   walk dead fans. ever notice that the grass out side is never high. so do zombies mow the grass when they are not eating brains. I dont mow my grass for 2 weeks and I cant see out my living room window.