Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   So is everyone Irish yet?

   I like a nice boob avi as much as the next dude, but some of you ladies make me feel like you're going poke an eye out.

   Married people don't celebrate St. Patrick's Day. That would imply that they'd actually expect to get lucky.

   Seriously? Really? Seriously?? Really?? Seriously??? Really??? Said annoying people everywhere now a days.

   Apparently putting Alka Seltzers in my mouth while getting "born again" and pretending I'm possessed by the Devil is not so funny to "non drunk people".

   Nice try "St. Patrick's Day", but I don't need a reason to drink!!

   Facebook feels a lot like Group Therapy...only everyone is talking at once and no one wants to be cured.

   My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.

   there are no winners the day following a draft beer, corned beef, and cabbage binge.

   if you had... one shot... one opportunity... to take two samples at costco when the dude's not lookin... would you capture it... or let it slip

   I have a crystal ball and when I sit down I do it very carefully.

   Passover occurs at the same time as Holy Week which leads up to Easter. Them J3WS are always trying to ruin our fun.

   Just because it’s called make-up, it doesn’t mean it’s supposed to make-up 99% of your face!

   I'm going to take a shot for every "like" I get on this status....then again....I'm taking shots whether you b*stards like it or not.

   ‎(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ Mondays

   Why do porn sites have a 'Share to Facebook' button? Who watches porn and thinks, 'You know who'd really enjoy this? My family and friends.'

   You may think I am wierd, but at least I am not boring like you.

   Alright Winter, we get your point. You're a force of nature okay? I'll quit mocking you when I'm talking to the other seasons

   My butler says I live in a fantasy world.

   Well St Patrick's Day is finally over, or as I know it as the day I found out that not all midgets are magical