Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Don't use your energy to worry...use your energy to believe!

   Why do they still use smoke signals? They've not heard of Twitter?

   At least men and women agree on one thing...they both don't trust women.

   At least men and women agree on one thing...they both don't trust men.

   So did the pope sign with the cardinals" I'm confused..whos the pope anyways" was he even in the combine this year?

   Nowadays people feel they need to identify with others before they can even identify with themselves.

   My papal name would be 'Pope Daddy I".

   A friend of mine said that being gay wasn't so bad, but sometimes it's a real pain in the ass ツ

   Cubic Zirconium's slogan should be: Guys can fake it too!

   Anyone else notice that the new Pope looks like Homer Simpson after a hunger strike?

   I heard Pope Francis won because of his strong showing in the swimsuit portion.

   Ahhh Steak and BJ Day we meet again both well done please

   People who say "If I disappeared, no one would notice" are wrong. If I saw someone vanish right in front of me I would FREAK OUT!

   Great to be Catholic this month! We welcome a new Pope, plus we get three major religious holidays! Palm Sunday, Easter, and to kick it all off...the most important...St. Patrick's Day.

   Keep Calm and Keep scrolling... I got nothing funny to say here.

   Interest in the Bermuda Triangle disappeared. Seems suspicious.

   how can you tell when your baby needs more oil and where do I add it??

   Justin Bieber's hamster died. He'd had it for two months. The only hamster to truly know the meaning of Rest In Peace

   My insurance is so bad, I pay a co-pay to watch Dr. Oz

   The problem with today's children is that today's parents are idiots