Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I think my "check engine" light has finally burned out. So that's good.

   There are teenagers having unprotected sex, but have cases on their cell phones. Just let that sink in for a moment...

   Job application is a trick by some id! ots that they don't even bother to read your resume.

   I still think Catholics should modernize and elect new Popes with a reality TV show.

   After mating, a female Praying Mantis kills & eats the male. Guess she knows it's easier to claim life insurance rather than child support.

   My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

   I'll have a PB&J ... Hold the "P" and the "&"

   I see that they chose a Pope from South America instead of Africa which is a shame. I was really looking forward to a Pope Marktavious....

   "The names Pope Francis...but everyone calls me Psycho...Any of you call me Francis...and I'll kill you"

   thinking the Vatican blew their chance at making an epic Harlem Shuffle video

   The problem with love is that though we get to chose who we love, we don't get to chose who loves us back.

   Hey, they had to elect a new Pope today, because everyone wanted to be home for a new episode of Duck Dynasty tonight.... Jack!

   Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn't have to end at work.

   My dog tore up the sofa so I chewed up his dog bed. Eye for an eye, Dawg!

   Don't worry altar boys, I'm sure this new pope will be as admirable & honest as the last couple guys.

   Say goodbye to that nasty smoke, Vatican! From the makers of e-cigarettes comes NEW e-chimney™.

   Round the clock unnecessary news on this...would have been more interesting if choosing the new pope was a production of the tv series Punked.

   George and Barbara B ush must be some proud parents. One son was President, two were Governors and one now plays for the Detroit Lions!

   there may be a re-count for Pope. Turns out there were some hanging chads.

   Next time your on a roller coaster take some extra bolts with you then when you're going up that first hill tell the guy in front of you "these just fell out of your chair!!!!"