Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Yes facebook... I'm sure I want to remove this event.

   Maybe the black smoke simply means they need a new chimney sweep.

   Who needs a brain when you fall deeply in love?

   UGH! A co-worker is here with kids and I don't want to talk to them, so I'm trying to look busy. This is the hardest I've worked all week!

   The key to an unhealthy relationship is being with me.

   I think it's cool the way they let the Cardinals pick the pope and not the Cubs or Yankees

   Wife: "When you're watching p orn, do you think of me?" Husband: "When you're eating cake, do you think of dog s hit?"

   Here, take my thunder. You don't have to steal it.

   Why in the heck are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention?

   Black smoke rose from my toaster this morning... a new pope tart has been chosen..

   Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up lol

   According to planned parenthood we have a new Pope! Welcome Pope Smear. I personally would have voted for Pope Awheelie..

   After looking at the faces in the crowds at the Vatican City... The Catholics have now agreed to birth control...

   I thought smoking at the Vatican was prohibited 0_o clearly a violated rule with the white smoke that's coming out now :-p

   CBS announced today the Pope will be replaced by Ashton Kutcher.

   At last a new pedophile, sorry I mean Pope has been elected.

   White smoke!!! Great, now we can all go back to bashing Obama and gun control

   I wonder during the election for Pope, did the other cardinals point to the losers and say excitedly "you are NOT the father"

   ladies, if you want a man who will stick by you through thick and thin, marry a procrastinator

   White smoke emerges from Vatican chimney, indicating either the new pope has been chosen or the chicken fajitas are ready.