Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Lets elect a black pope! Said no Catholic ever.....

   my money is on the Kenyan Cardinal in the Pope race!!

   In other news from Rome, the Italian police were tipped about a major pedophile ring gathering on the outskirts of Rome....Oh crap! It's the papal conclave. Nothing to do about that....yet!

   If they can't elect a Pope in a week they should declare Overtime...and just play ROCK BIBLE SCISSORS

   Facebook = Poor mans therapist...

   I don't care who they elect Pope just as long as I can keep drinking, gambling and having unprotected sex!

   Telling your woman to calm down, works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

   I hope I live to see the day kindness goes viral.

   Anyone else having trouble with these nicotine patches? Mine melt as soon as I light them.

   They need to hurry up and find a new pope. It's been less than 2 weeks and already the unsupervised Cardinals are smoking in the Sistine Chapel.

   facebook sucks ass anymore.. whos wth me?? its like checking a fridge when you know theres nothing to eat!

   Whatsapp and BBM have been ranked 2nd and 3rd as the best for gossip.Women continue to rule at No. 1.

   If you tell me to "grow up" I will point at your shirt and flick your nose with my finger when you look down.

   Why do they still use smoke to singal the pope vote? Don't they have a twitter account now?

   what's the 800 # I text my votes to for my favorite Pope??

   thank good ness this pope s hit came along. We were just getting sick of all the obama jokes...

   About 73% of the time, I just make up percentages

   11 out of 10 centipedes go bankrupt when they go bowling.

   this one blows chunks. Keep scrolling...

   you know why you would never hear a pteradactyl in the bathroom? because the P is silent. <badoom crash!>