Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I love Pope John Paul, George and Ringo.

   SEAN PENN is a communist-loving sellout. Why the hell was he crying like a little b itch at HUGO CHAVEZ funeral?

   Tequila makes the world go around...I mean the room, it makes the room go around. :-/

   The way things are going in Washington, it probably won't be long until you'll have to get a permit just to shoot the breeze.

   Justin Beiber wants to beat off reporters. Only male reporters, Beiber isn't interested in touching females.

   PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks.

   It's a shame that people who start a sentence with, "I know it's none of my business," never leave it at that.

   What if we found out that there's no such thing as Federal Bikini Inspectors and those guys in the t-shirts are con-men?

   I think KFC should expand their menu to include a 30 piece bucket of original recipe/ extra crispy skin.

   I'll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers

   Whenever I see a really hot girl with an ugly guy, I think "klondike bar".

   You claim to have started from the bottom. But you forget to mention you still down there.

   The amount of time you've spent nagging, you could have blown me AND done the dishes, stupid.

   When the interviewer asks "Why do you want to work here?" don't answer "you'll find out!" and laugh maniacally

   I'm not a "tree hugger", but I'd like for my grandkids to have "oxygen".

   If you’re gonna use the word ‘horny’, you’d better be attractive. Otherwise, cut that s hit out.

   In-laws are watching the kids tonight. Can't wait to put a load in the dishwasher.

   It's entirely conceivable that the ass I just saw plays a key role in the machinations of the rocking world...

   I lost respect for my wife when she accused me of lying that time I caught syphilis from a pay phone.

   when a girl posts a bunch of quotes about how strong women are, avoid that s hit like the herp!!!