Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Which child of his is Ron Paul more proud of? Rand or Ru?

   What is up with all these Government drones? I can't even fly a freaking kite anymore.

   In Florida where you literally get a grave built-in to your house...

   Happy International Women's Day :) Now go make me a sandwich, cause it ain't going to make it self. Chop Chop :)

   Tesco Quarter Pounders: The new affordable way to buy your daughter the pony she's always wanted !!!!

   Top 3 forms of birth control: 1. Condoms. 2. the pill. 3. Crocs.

   I don't go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I'm dying to pee.

   Top 4 forms of birth control: 1. Condoms. 2. the pill. 3. Crocs. 4. Skinny jeans

   I've told you a million times...don't exaggerate.

   Congratulations on your ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.

   If you ever think you're ugly just remember it's because you are.

   Looks like I got 2 more of those pesky drones last night in the bug whacker.....

   So, I've noticed that your superpower is the ability to create drama out of absolutely nothing.

   What's the difference between a Rottweiler and an insane ex? Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go."

   Oh Yeah we do it on the bed, on the couch, in the bathroom, standing up, and even in the car! Yep We Loooovvveee to Text!:)

   I'm so selfish for complaining about being sick with the flu for 5 days now. Just saw Justin Bieber collapsed. Horrifying...

   Knowing its International Women’s Day is the only thing I know about women.

   International Women’s Day……Cause it’s not like you want attention on any other day…

   So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....

   I might care about Twilight if Count Chocula was in it...