Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Finally figured out what twitter was today, the thing between the twaat and the sh*tter.

   Hugo Chavez: First confirmed victim of sequester......

   It's too bad that Hugo Chavez passed away before he had a chance to meet Dennis Rodman.

   it just me or are Dating sites costing more than a date now? I just want to go back to the day of throwing a rock and dragging her off her feet.

   Hugo Chavez...Hey hey my my, the evil dictator finally died..And once you're gone, you can't come back, your so welcome to satan's act!

   Can we please have a moment of silence for the respect we lost for Hugo Chavez?

   Hugo Chavez...Say hello to..Adolph Hitler/Vlad III the Impaler/Joseph Stalin/Benito Mussolini/Ivan the Terrible and your friend the.Great Antichrist...The enemy of righteousness the.prince of darkness, pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name!

   Hot dog warmers at Citgo seem to be rolling at half-speed tonight, must be in honor of Chavez?

   I don't know her; it means I don't know if she's more miserable than me or not.

   Where do we cash out these Likes? I need gas money, and by gas money I mean booze.

   My top fav 10 dictatorship dreamteam are passing away so fast.....

   Reports are in that Hugo Chjavez has died....hmmmmm ✔ Saddam Hussein ✔ Osama Bin Ladden ✔ Moammar Gadhafi ✔Kim Jong IL ❒Fidel Castro ✔Hugo Chavez - Not good timesr for my Fantasy Dictator League...

   I remember my first crush... It was orange

   Can someone get Seal Team Six some round trip tickets to North Korea?

   I can never decide whether "Every Breath You Take" by The Police is incredibly sweet, or incredibly terrifying

   Happy Birthday Girlfrien. I didn't put the D because you'll get that later.

   "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston S. Churchill (R.I.H Chavez)

   In some countries, DEATH is nature’s way of limiting presidential terms in office. You wanted to be a president for life, and now your wish is granted Mr Chavez.

   I'll answer my wife's question after watching this movie; wait, where is my family?

   As a mark of respect for Hugo Chavez who died yesterday, I've had his initials carved on my sink and bath taps