Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Doctor's have crappy jobs. If they save someone, God gets credit, if they don't they get sued.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do transformers have health insurance or car insurance???
←Rate | 03-03-2013 20:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a little kid gives you a high 5 and you don't pretend like they broke your hand, you're doing life wrong.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 20:25 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just pulled on a nose hair super hard & one of my pubes disappeared.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 20:38 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon How exciting a threesome!!!! Time to give my pillows some head,my sheets some booty,and my bed is about to get laid.
←Rate | 03-03-2013 20:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon News break the waking dead is on, so I will update everyone every commercial break-Get a life
←Rate | 03-03-2013 21:12 by 740 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not about the size of the ship but the motion of the ocean... I've never seen small ships make big waves!!! Just sayin'......
←Rate | 03-04-2013 00:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some nights... When I can't sleep.. I stay up and ponder life's greatest unanswered questions... Like: How long it would take a giraffe to throw up. So I did some digging, and apparently, it is a leading cause of Giraffe death... And now I'm sad. :(
←Rate | 03-04-2013 00:52 by CDz Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so old I still have stuff written MADE IN USA.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 05:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have to SNEAK to do it, LIE to cover it up, or DELETE it to avoid it being seen then maybe you SHOULDN'T be doing it anyway.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 05:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget comic relief this year. Just R50 can help a disabled African learn the difference between an intruder and a girlfriend.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 08:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm me. I like me. It took me a while to realize it, but I have no other choice. I'm stuck with myself.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 10:00 by Choot Choot Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids down the street have challenged me to a squirt gun fight. I'm just killing time updating my FB status while I wait for the kettle to boil.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 12:19 by BigSarge Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I'm leaving!
←Rate | 03-04-2013 12:20 by equaloppjoker Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody ever lost money overestimating the fatness of Americans.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 12:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'What would I do without you?' is such a stupid question to ask. Because all I need to do is what I was doing before you came along and complicated my existence.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 12:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not needy. I'm wanty!
←Rate | 03-04-2013 14:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1.- Open YouTube website 2.-Type "do the Harlem Shake" and click search 3.-Don't click anything just wait and see what happens lol
←Rate | 03-04-2013 14:55 by Cisco Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leadership is a privilege to better the lives of others. It is not an opportunity to satisfy personal greed.
←Rate | 03-04-2013 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon i broke 2 mirrors in the same day, so i'm going to assume it's good luck because two negatives make a positive, right?
←Rate | 03-04-2013 15:08 Comments (0)  



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