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This has been the weirdest Oscars Awards show ever! Harry Potter was dancing. Bellatrix was singing. And Lucias Malfoy got an award 
And this year's Oscar (Pistorius) goes to ....... Jail. (͡๏̯͡๏)
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.......... If you're almost there & she laughs, now that's a different thing.....
***News Alert*** Michelle Obama is stunned her husband didn't win Best Actor.
If 9 out of 10 doctors recommend it, what the hell is the tenth doctor recommending?
Women: The prettiest flowers in God's garden.
High School Reunions: Trying to replicate that which was never so great to begin with.
goto yahoo, then click "Best and worst dressed at Oscars", first pic Halle Berry, second pic Pinocchio....
If this van's a rockin'?,,, the front wheel must have come off the cinder block... Just knock on the trailer door, someone's usually home
How about you Harlem shake off a cliff
well the Oscars this year were dominated by the movie Pi....next year, I demand they make a movie named bacon....
My phone's broken, if you need me, message me on MySpace .
Stupid people really irritate me. I wish I could piss on some people and sprinkle some wisdom on them.
Online dating creeps me out! I'll stick with good old-fashioned prison pen-pals.
I discovered last night that the only thing worse than waking up 3 times to pee in the middle of the night......Is sleeping right through them.
Dear people that still clip your phone to your belt.......stop.
I finally overcame my fear of skinny dipping...... On a side note; Police report that there has been no progress made in an attempt to identify the "naked man" seen streaking out of the mall's wishing fountain.
Oscars - some award show for boring movies I will probably never watch even if they paid me.
Ironic that the Oscar for worst boyfriend ever went to a guy named Oscar...
Manti Teo and the 40 yard dash in 4.8 2 seconds he said he would have ran it faster if he wasn't carrying his girlfriend
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