Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Ice cream just seems to taste better with tears.

   Nobody gets out of the car until Phil Collins is done singing. It's the law, kids.

   It. There, I said it.

   I really hope Chris Brown dates Justin Bieber

   I'm not a "stalker". I want to make sure you're okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.

   I’ll bet you all the money in my savings account that I’m broke.

   While others prefer to pop wine bottles and champagne, I just prefer to pop corn.

   In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you're trying to explain directions to an old man.

   If one door closes and another one opens, seek help your house is haunted.

   Everyone becomes an air drumming master 3 minutes and 40 seconds into Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight".

   I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.

   Happy Birthday 21st Amendment

   If you're crazy and you know it, shake your meds.

   If she is married or has a boyfriend make sure she swallows the evidence.

   I "Country Music" hate you.

   I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that.

   I guess some people are the salt of the earth and others are the wounds.

   She is not crazy, she is female.

   It is what it is, it was what it was, and it shall be what it shall be.

   Let me see if I've got this right...Women like to dress sexy, but it doesn't mean they want sex? This is but one of the confusing reasons men will never understand you women.