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How Do People Know Dinosaurs Roared If Nobody Ever Heard One?!,...Maybe, They Meowed 
If you think you're gonna get $5000 by sharing a photoshopped photo of Bill Gates you might also want to send me your bank account username and password.
May your valentine's day be full of all the sinful things people give up for Lent!!
Soon on eBay: For sale, one soiled cruise ship. Will consider any offers
Wife asked me what I wanted for Valentines, I pointed to my head and asked her to read my mind... That was the last thing I remember before I woke up on the floor... She is good!!
Thinks Oscar Pistorius killed his girlfriend because she didn't like him. She was 'lack-toes' intolerant.
Happy Valentines day!! Or as I like to call it, Thursday
Im designing a New perfume for all the girls who forgot to shave, It's called "Forever Alone"......... It smells like a Cruise ship on fire at sea!
For those of you who can't be with the one you love because she doesn't understand that you're destined to be together, Happy Restraining Order Day!
I assume Cupid saw his shadow this year...
For those girls who aint shaved.......I'm perfecting a new perfume called "Forever Alone".... It smells like Carnival Cruise Line on Fire!
What did one Party fish say to the another party fish....."This Carnival is stinking up the sea"
I'm going to shut off my phone round 9pm just to not get and avoid any desperate last minute chicks
it just me or does it look like the Carnival cruise ship is leaving a skid mark across Mobile Bay?
BRIAN ESSBE 8 hours ago If Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have taught us anything, it's don't trust athletes with missing body parts
Watching a cruise ship soaked with sewage tug its vomiting passengers to an Alabama shore, and thinking of you. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think Congress should be forced to go on minimum wage. That way I can feel more comfortable calling them public servants!
The best enemy maker on earth: Facebook & Internet!
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
i'm an animal in the bedroom...a sloth
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