Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The best part of Valentine"s day is no more Vermont teddy bear BIG HUNKA LOVE BEAR commercials.

   Valentine's Day is the day that the “V” and “D” come together ...

   It's Valentine's Day... If you arer married, go and kiss your wife or husband, if you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, do the same... and if you are single, kiss the ground and thank GOD!!! =)) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

   I overheard my girlfriend on the phone to her bff saying she wants to get engaged on Valentine’s Day. I hope she finds someone nice.

   If you didn't want me to sleep at work, maybe you shouldn't have given me the paycheck to buy the drugs w/ in the first place. Work's fault.

   Today shopping malls will be empty... however parking lots will be full...

   Guys, for Valentine's Day leave 3 notes scattered around your house for your girlfriend that say "Will", "you", and "me." That'll keep her busy while you watch sports.

   roses are red, violets are blue, I'm sorry babe, got nothing for you.

   Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.

   Deep Inside We All Know Money Is Everything..

   Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job.

   Today, people that say "liberry" ,"Jewelerry","supposably" and the Incredible"Hawk", get to celebrate "Valentimes" Day.

   Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.

   Please stop saying "My Valentine is my child." or "Jesus is my Valentine." Unfortunately, they don't count as real Valentine's.

   Happy Mushy Card Nasty Candy in a Heart Shaped Box Big Balloon That Barely Fits in Your Car And You Can't See to Back Up $75 Roses That Can be Bought Tomorrow for $20 but Must be Sent to "Prove" Your Love Stand In Line for Two Hours to Eat Day.

   Thank you, flowers, for being the perfect way to say, "My love for you is beautiful but will die very soon."

   Steve Martin's kid was born in December Idiot

   Just found out my attic is full of cotton candy!!!

   I can't believe I've been walking around all day with this massive heart on

   Roses are red, violets are blue, if you piss me off, your balls will be, too.