Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I was gonna try the whole vegan thing once, but I didn't really want to commit myself to telling everyone about it.

   why do people say something is to die for? If you die, you can't eat it...

   im not lazy...my body is just an environmentalist that likes to conserve energy

   Last night, Gotye won Record of the Year. Parents were like, “Who’s Gotye?” while their kids were like, “What’s a record?

   Quick! When the hunky bartender gets the security guard and points at you; that means he's interested right? I think I’m going to drink for free the rest of the night...

   Somebody needs to tell Ann Coulter that a shi!tload of makeup can't disguise her stupidity.

   I have a bad feeling we're going to pay for Taylor Swift not having a boyfriend on Valentines Day.

   Taylor Swift chases more balls than a puppy.

   You can tell the Pope is a typical Man... He decided to break up a relationship with God just before Valentines Day, just so that he doesn't have to give a gift!!!

   Ok now seriously somebody should reeally! 'engineer the electricals' now!

   Shout out to all the KKK members who have a birthday in Black History month and a birthday on the same day as MLK.

   "This is America. We don't stop doing something 'cause it's wrong. We just keep doing it til it's right." - Ed Wuncler (The Boondocks)

   The Catholic Church is in shock over something that hasn't occurred since 1415 AD. It ran out of mix for its annual Pancake Breakfast.

   Of course Bruce Willis is going to keep playing the same movie roles..... After all,, You know what they say about old habits.

   It's been over a year since I found anything to steal here. If nobody else is gonna say it I will. R I P FSM. I'd type the whole name of the page but we're not allowed smh...

   Playing the "hey, what's in that bulging tupperware bowl" game never ends well.

   I believe the smoke coming out of that Vatican chimney while they decide on a pope is all of them smoking fatties til they can come to an agreement.

   Happy Mardi Gras Everyone, Party yourself in oblivion.

   Mrs said she we need a "conversation piece" in the living room. I'm thinking taco cart...

   Sometimes I like to walk into Whole Foods and yell "hey, that Subaru is being towed" just to see how fast it empties out the store...