Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Arkansas just passed a law allowing people to caring guns in church. If you need a gun in church, I don't even want to hear what you believe in for a God.

   Personally,,,,,, I'm giving up my belly button and the space between my toes..... For lint

   Dear Vatican, Two words: POPRAH WINFREY.....think about it.

   "I'll retire when Whitney Houston stays sober for a year" - Pope Benedict XVI, 2012.

   I guess we know what the Pope is giving up for lent...being the Pope...

   I just saw pictures of my neighbor's 30 year high school reunion....Don't marry your high school sweetheart!!!

   I bet it's called "getting some strange" because you can get strange!

   The Pope is resigning, citing family reasons. He wants to spend more time with the kids.

   fights so dirty, he has never had makeup sex. It usually violates the restraining order.

   whenver ur alone & need a hug, just remember....so does a cactus

   Never tell a zombie that he looks like death warmed over

   The good thing about Facebook is you can make someone disappear from your FB world by simply deleting and blocking the annoying offender. To accomplish the same thing in the real world, you have to find a remote location and take the time to dig a shallow

   Am I the only one that believes people without kids should get a "No-Child Tax Credit"... I mean I'm over here not overpopulating the world.. Think I deserve a lil something back for that... Yall Welcome!

   so ready for that all important holiday coming up, don't forget monday is the presidents day mattress sale

   I will put a comma wherever I want. If I pause,,,, you pause

   If you forward these idiotic chain posts and "If I get a thousand likes" posts, I automatically think you're stupid.

   I'm gonna be busy scanning Craigslist for the PopeMobile.

   I am pleased to announce that I hired Helen Waite to handle the issuance of all apologies on my behalf. So from now on, if you're looking for an “I'm sorry” from me, please go to Helen Waite for it..

   I over-exercised and dieted beyond what was healthy. It got so bad I had to check myself into reflab.

   Some of you make me wonder when the psych ward got Internet access.