Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon It's really kind of sad we live in a country where we are the most entertained, yet the less informed.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 07:28 by @topherjordan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is everyone making a big deal out of the lance armstrong thing. It's not like he cheated at a sport or something jeez...
←Rate | 01-19-2013 07:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon my water bottles are so thin it feels like I grabbed a water balloon with a cap. Hand me that piev
←Rate | 01-19-2013 08:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw a homeless woman eating cat food. I really felt bad for her. She couldn't even Instagram it first.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 08:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's true. Girls just want to have fun. And ruin your life in the process.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 08:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon You people freak me out talking about stalking. Especially you.... sitting there in your blue & white striped polo shirt reading that book on your couch.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:03 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can fold a fitted sheet, you're obviously a witch
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:07 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in my underwear on the porch in a rocking chair drinking my coffee................. Man,, Is this Cracker Barrel packed this morning or what?
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just so you know the new rules to CPR,,,, there's no more blowing, just pumping,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I know,, It's like the romance is gone
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:26 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry I just woke up from a coma,,, and OH MAYA GOD,,, They got the date wrong
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:28 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife yelled my first, middle and last name this morning! Not sure if it was the dirty underwear left on the bathroom floor, the unmade bed, the dirty clothes by the bed, or the dirty dishes . I think I had better go run errands.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:42 by Pete G Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama reminds me of ThomasJefferson. He liked some dark meat, too...
←Rate | 01-19-2013 09:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The US beat Canada at hockey this week... In retaliation, a new Nickelback album will be unleashed.. We brought this upon ourselves America.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 10:12 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon there's a million fish in the sea and I'm just worm to attract them!
←Rate | 01-19-2013 10:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know..... President Obama's inaugural parade will feature eight floats, including a Hawaii float to honor his birthplace, an Illinois float to honor the first lady’s home state, and a Kenyan float just to mess with Republicans
←Rate | 01-19-2013 10:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I vehemently deny that I have ever used Status Enhancing Drugs (brb, Oprah is calling...)
←Rate | 01-19-2013 10:40 by MikeP Comments (0)  


   messageicon he asked to be the little spoon... so I went home
←Rate | 01-19-2013 11:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs... Please don't let Kevin Bacon die.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 12:26 by @MiserableMadge Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between being married and being single is when you're single you don't have to listen to anyone snore while not getting laid.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 12:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm lonely, but not 'talk to people' lonely.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 12:38 by Baddie Comments (0)  



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