Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon No, Microsoft, I'm not sending an error report because snitches get glitches
←Rate | 01-06-2013 00:53 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whether you order a six-inch or a foot- long, both you and your sandwich artist are thinking about diks for at least a second.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 01:03 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy with the mothball smell p ost, you sir are one sick puppy.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 01:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue... How much do your facebook friends know about you?
←Rate | 01-06-2013 02:12 by oregon Comments (0)  


   messageicon TODAY'S GOSPEL: The best way to get along with people is to not expect them to be like you.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 02:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes Justin Bieber has millions of followers on Twitter. BUT just how many of those millions are not idiots?
←Rate | 01-06-2013 04:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's date officially marks the twelfth day of Christmas....So, except for the Nine Ladies Dancing, Eight Maids-a-Milking and the Five Golden Rings...it's all going back to Wal Mart. Especially that squawking, annoying, Partridge in a Pear Tree.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 07:59 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm in the dog house.... so I guess doggie style it is....
←Rate | 01-06-2013 08:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband is so nice to our new cleaning lady. The house gets so hot during the day so he lets her wear a small skirt and a bra.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 08:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow! Bethenny Frankel just announced she's getting a divorce! Wait, who the eff is she again???
←Rate | 01-06-2013 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon some people take so much s hit from me and are still in love with me. it's great!
←Rate | 01-06-2013 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Eating an apple a day for an entire year can make you turn into an iPhone.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 10:12 by @FactualFrog Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy, if it keeps snowing, someone's gonna haveta shovel the darn driveway. I think I'll text her ツ
←Rate | 01-06-2013 11:58 by Goober Peas Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two things some people can't live without, God and the internet, are everywhere and all-knowing. But only one of them gives you naked woman anytime you want.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 12:23 by Prince Shawn Comments (0)  


   messageicon found out through fb hockey is back... I never knew it was gone
←Rate | 01-06-2013 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, it's looks like a, 'brush my teeth on my shirt sleeve and head to Walmart' kinda day ツ
←Rate | 01-06-2013 12:27 by Goober Peas Comments (0)  


   messageicon whenever I run I play Avici pandora in my pocket and pretend I'm running to Pacha
←Rate | 01-06-2013 12:47 by avici007 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red violets are blue, porn hub is down. So your mother's Facebook will do
←Rate | 01-06-2013 13:06 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to have a successful relationship - Don't mention your EX every other minute.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am ugly but not "use a a celebrity pic for my profile pic" ugly.
←Rate | 01-06-2013 13:50 Comments (0)  



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