Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears.

   I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.

   Lol here come all the brand new Redskins fans

   Making snow angels & writing Ron Paul underneath because people need to know the truth

   i wonder if Bruce Wayne calls it his "batman cave" or his "bat 'man cave' "

   if "PRO" is the opposite of "CON" then "PROgress" has to be the opposite of "CONgress

   I should just change my name to "Han" because it looks like I'm gonna stay solo *forever alone*

   How's Hillary's head? Not as good as Monica's.

   DIARY OF A BACHELOR - Day 689: I am happy to report that I am still in total control and command of my sperm which I continue to manage successfully and thus have not impregnated any female out of wedlock, thanks mostly to self-control and quality c0ndoms

   RELIGION - a refugee for when physics, chemistry, biology, logic and common sense become too complicated to understand.

   I guess there's just something about the word bro that makes dudes take their shirts off and touch each other.

   Women are weird. Hundreds of people can tell them they're beautiful but they'll obsess over the one person that doesn't.

   HIM: Do you want to go for a ride in my BMW? HER: Yep you can drive me to my JAGUAR!

   Karen on Facebook says she's… "Grabbing 2013 by the b*lls!" Karen's been a total slut since the divorce.

   I'm glad I've got boobs. The last thing I want is people making eye contact with me.

   My life is a constant panic attack occasionally interrupted by a nap

   I always party like it's 1999. Standing in a corner talking to nerds about The Matrix.

   Never underestimate a woman's ability to make you apologize when she is the one who is clearly in the wrong.

   If you keep a foot in the past and a foot in the future, you're gonna piss on the present...

   nog steeds lekker vakantie