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I hate when college professors make you introduce yourself to the entire class. 
Wow, I cant believe it!!! Not one single post on my wall today about the world not ending.....said no Facebook user ever..
the world didn't end today?!?! Boy do I have a lot Christmas shopping to do now!
... This is Lawrence, Kansas... Is there anybody out there?... Anybody at all?
Anyone know when the next end of the world is?
I just want to say "MERRY CHRISTMAS" to everyone, well everyone but you. I shaved my nutz for you and you just left me to die a VIRGIN!!
if these damned Mayans are wrong, I'm gonna owe a lot money and will definitely have to return the Lamborghini!!
Just got a belly piercing. It's a mistletoe, I don't want any confusion on where I want your lips this Christmas.
If you need an assault rifle with 30, 50, or 90 round clips to protect yourself maybe you just suck at protecting yourself.
R.I.P to everybody who didn't make it to Christmas this year.
Well, If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 13 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status about the End of the world again??? I wonder what will be doing 13yrs in the future from now.......
wore my mistletoe belt buckle out last night. Met a girl with a mistletoe belly button piercing.. Wedding is next month."
What if Bruce Willis and crew actually blew up the asteroid last night. Willis 1 - Mayans 0.
Mark Zuckerberg should have just shut down Facebook for 24 hours...That should have scared enough people to think the world was over!!!
Drink apple juice... OJ will kill you.
DEAR SANTA, When you're done with it... Can I have the naughty girl list????
Crap! Still here! Better schedule that colonoscopy,
Twinkee's are coming back... There is a God.
I'm gonna get a tshirt made that says ' I survived the end of the world and all I got was this lousy tshirt
If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success.
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