Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If men in bands can make her dance, I wonder what men in college can make her do.

   I'll never judge or insult you because of your beliefs. I'm just kidding idiot.

   If getting into heaven is based on how many times you have tried to close the elevator door before someone else gets on, I am screwed.

   Me: Wanna put on our capes and our undies over our pants and go stand on top of a building?

   I wish giants existed because watching them walk into telephone wires would be entertaining.

   HA HA HA! People believed it was all going to end today. I mean, really, an ancient calendar is actually going to predict the end of the wor.......

   Its the end of the world as we know it, but I feel fine

   Yo Mayans, I know you all did your thing and everything, but the dinosaurs had the best apocalypse ever.

   Lately I realized that appreciation does to me what spinach did to Popeye!

   embarrassed the world didn't end today. Now I'm awkwardly sitting at my desk without pants...

   I spent all my money last night on strippers and beer thinking the world was ending... now what

   The next time you come across a Mayan making a calendar, leave him the f*** alone!

   I'll start to believe that video games create violent killings the day someone gets arrested for killing a pig by catapulting a bird at it

   I have no idea where I'm going and I like it that way. It's called living.

   I like to watch Chinese p orn at night and I put it very loud so that my neighbors think that apart from having sex I can speak Chinese too.

   For me the end of the world was when I had to start working for a living.

   For Jesus' birthday, I bought other people a bunch of stuff.

   Ladies, lets face facts, the only real guy friends without ulterior motives are g@y.

   Whenever you feel stupid, just look at the trending topics on twitter. There are always people dumber than you.

   So what, if Mayans got it all wrong, its not the end of the world!!!