Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Every year my calendar ends on December 31st and I buy a new one, today i've concluded the Mayans were too lazy to make a new one.

   Age is just a number ...and mine is unlisted .

   everyone's making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.

   Before we blame the Mayans let us ask ourselves; what if Bruce Willis and his crew are actually up there and they have successfully nuked the meteor

   The day you start looking forward to being abused in the nursing home is the day you realize your life sucks

   dear Myans, its ok to be wrong...its not like its the end of the world

   - My wife got us tickets to The Nutcracker for tomorrow night, so at this point I'm rooting for the Mayans.

   If EVERY radio station on Earth doesn't play R.E.M.'s "It's the end of the world as we know it(and I feel fine) at the PRECISE moment of the solstice...well then you 've really just wasted all of our time!

   "I'm gonna cramp your style." - Menstruation

   I don't date because I have a kitten. Making more than one pu$$y happy is hard I tell you.

   i'm not stalking, i'm making sure you're always ok.

   Text:I wanna be inside you. Reply: You were for 9 months. Sorry mom wrong number.

   The world won't end in 2012, Marty Mcfly has been to 2015

   apparently people don't know how to read mayan in very well. it never said the world would end however I believe it said Wisconsin would close

   Congratulations, you survived the Mayan Disaster. Please resume your life. Thank you.

   OK Mayan's you missed out on these "END of world" predictions don't worry it's not like there is no tomorrow!!!!

   So when is the next end of the world???

   Mayans are the main reason why I have trust issues >=(

   The world isn't going to end today. Anyway, I'll check the status of my joke after the Winter Solstice, I can't get a signal in my nuclear bomb shelter...

   Happy Mayan new year!