Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   anybody gonna mention the fact that the Mayans couldn't even predict the Spanish coming?

   It doesn't have to make sense if it makes people laugh.

   Your life must be really pathetic if you spend your time and energy fighting against the rights of others.

   The best way to reach your target audience is a rocket launcher.

   Women worry more about hiding their farts than their feelings.

   My plans for getting laid are getting dusty.

   Making me doubt myself was your first mistake. Underestimating me will be your last.

   When I said I'd give you multiples I was talking about my personalities.

   I'm doing 'Mexican Yoga' tonight. It's just sitting at the back of a regular yoga class with a bottle of tequila.

   Dear Men. When a woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, you'd better shut up, grab a chair and get ready to listen…for hours.

   you always know who's not from NY when they are dressed like Eskimos on a day like today

   Ladies; Just because he had an erection doesn't mean he's in love with you.

   People sometimes let you down… bacon never does. »

   Facebook is for Leaders.....Twitter is for Followers

   The best thing about social media is that you can talk to people without having to put your pants on.

   This is amazing & really works with ANY age!! Take your age, add two, subtract two. THAT's your age!! CrAzY!!

   when asked about the Lakers struggles lately, Kobe said, "Dude, I got away with rape so it's no biggee..."

   I just found some Thanksgiving leftovers in the fridge. Funny, I don't remember making any turkey pudding...

   Men, just because she loves your c ock doesn't mean she's in love with u

   the only 12's I give a s hit about come in 12 ounces and 12 packs...