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Maybe we just need gun control for NFL players... 
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is??
No matter how old I get, I always know that I'll have to mentally sing my ABC's to know which letter comes next.
Just saw a fat ginger girl buying a rape whistle...gotta admire her optimism
I drink a lot because when I die I want to become high octane fossil fuel. I want to be burned up in a sports car, not some damned Kia or Suburu
You know It's not really an "American Girl Doll ®" without cuts on it's arms, a teen pregnancy, or an eating disorder.
when I'm happy, I drink and when I drink, I'm happy. Win/win!!
The sight of naked cleavage reduces a man's ability to reason by 50% ... Per boob.
Sex, Food, Sleep, & Poops. General male happiness depends on how good these 4 things are at any given time.
A picture is like a thousand words so if your profile photo is bad, it's like reading the word ugly a thousand times.
What's with all this bullying crap ... Bullying has been around since the T'rex punked a lizard . You want to stop bullying teach your kid how to defend themselves , bullies hate a fight .
Thank you for the birthday wished. I'd comment on each of them, but I'm lazy. Plus this way those that have yet to wish me a happy birthday will see this post and be reminded to do so. Ultimately resulting in more birthday wishes on my FB wall. :0)
wishes exercising was just as easy to do as eating is.
Read a story about a man who was killed by wave.. All I can think is how big was the other guy's hand?
They always say "love makes the world go around"... They spelled beer wrong.
I consider myself a social drinker....which means I'm pretty much social all the time.
if silly bands make her dance... SHES TO YOUNG FOR YOU BRO
he songs I like always come on when I'm supposed to be getting out of my car.
Facebook is neat because it provides a platform for me to connect with old friends, make new ones, and figure out which one's are completely insane.
too hot* blanket off *too cold* Put blanket on *too hot again* Stick on foot out…..perfect. *hears creepy noise* Sticks foot back in
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