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In honor of the his re-election pants are at half ass across the country. 
Stock tip: Buy Frito-Lay, Little Debbie and any other snack food stock... The people in Colorado and Washington State are going to be getting the munchies.
No thats not SWAG, thats just an idiot who doesn't know what a belt is.
remember kids to always try 100%...not just 53%...u still need that other 47% to get things done
I don't know why hospitals need to advertise. It's not like I'm going to go to Home Depot instead...
■Sometimes I put my hands on the floor, tuck my head into my chest and lean forward, cause that's how I roll.
Once you realize that someone is rubbing you the wrong way and you are convinced that there will never be a happy ending, you are undoubtedly in a bad relationship or,,,, you are being massaged by a witch.
Your dirtier than my browsers history!
Just made a dentist appt to have my eyes checked. I can't hear a thing.
Marriage: Women giving up the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
Let's leave Florida out of it next time. They've got enough on their plate, no need to burden them with national concerns.
Now that Colorado has legalized marijuana it is only logical they change the Rocky Mountains to the Smokey Mountains
Just because I don't post it everyday doesn't mean I'm not thankful for the things I have.
Tagged Photos-Rule #1: The hottest girl in the pic is the one not tagged.
I don't care how old you are, the only safe way to guarantee the monster under the bed doesn't grab you is to use the run and jump method.
The perfect man is the one that can afford my therapy bills.
What the hell is a 'stable relationship' and is it as horrible as it sounds?
I carry a gun because I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by six.
Yes, I will judge you by how you treat other people even if you're sweet as pie to me. Be kind or go to hell.
Does anyone know the difference between an elk and a deer? Cos I think I just ran over a cyclist.
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