Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I love spending money as much as my government does.

   If you were dying of thirst in the desert, I wouldn't let you drink my urine.

   I'm turning my clock back to 1978...

   Time to set the clocks ahead 23 hours.

   I bet Flava Flav HATES daylight savings time.

   I take my dog clubbing with me cause he's good at chasing tail...

   Apparently the little box on the up right side of fb seems more interesting than the actual status updates!

   At 2AM tonight it's Daylight Savings or "Drunk Dial Everyone You Know" night as my party buddies like to call it.

   Don't forget to change your clocks tonight and to change your president on Tuesday

   I set my daylight savings time back 13 years so I could party like it was 1999!

   Last week Honey Boo Boo endorsed President Obama. I knew Obama was pro birth control but I didn't realize the poster child for birth control was pro Obama.

   Cant Help Eavesdropping to a Group of Senior Citizens as they Reminisce their College Life... Funny and Disgusting at the same time..

   i time traveled tonight without using a DeLorean

   The last person to enter the house's of parliament with honourable initiations was Guy Fawkes!

   If you constantly post pics of you and your partner kissing, I am going to give you all the privacy you need...by deleting your ass.

   Nothing wrong with borrowing a girl's virginity, you just kiss her on the forehead after and she gets it back.

   My phone and my stove are arguing about what time it is. This won't end well.

   No no I like you, just not you can touch my phone like you.

   A slut on Facebook who used to post semi-nude pics of herself has just posted a bible verse. There is hope and redemption for everyone after all.

   You're really good at forgetting that I exist.