Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If crazy were a place, it would be here.

   Boss: You can't drink while you're working! Me: Oh, I'm not working.

   That sense of entitlement, where do I get one of those?

   Dance like the photo's not being tagged. Love like you've never been unfriended. Sing like nobody's following. Share like you care. And do it all like it won't end up on FACEBOOK.

   wondering what wine goes best with cheerios?

   Today when you are looking at your pay-stub, keep in mind that the 48 million people on welfare like you!!

   Aerosmith on the Today Show. Willard Scott Wished them all a happy 100th birthday.

   Ubid, Deal Dash and all other penny auctions are gambling sites for shopaholics.

   Ever notice the bigger the girl, the more Looney Tunes characters she has on her shirt.

   I need a Stalker that will take out the trash before going thru it

   I love you.... and your weed.

   The problem with feelings is WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

   I don't want to be owned, but I do want to be possessed.

   I forgive people immediately, after Karma gets them for me.

   And for my next trick, I am gonna make 20 of my FB friends delete and block me in next 10 hours.

   Marriages are made in heaven by angels who themselves are happy bachelors.

   Day 2: I am thankful for my Dad not pulling out..Thanks Pops

   Just a friendly reminder: There's 51 shopping days before Xmas. Of course according to the Mayans, the world will end in 48 days, so you decide…

   My heart is saying no but my mind is saying yes. Shhhh, quiet down heart. Let's see where this leads.

   Here, let me fix that grin on your face with this shovel.