Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   It's time to be concerned about unemployment when attractive people start losing their jobs.

   I wish somebody would come back from heaven and tell us how to pack.

   Scientists predict that at the rate the polar ice caps are melting, Nicole Kidman's face will unfreeze by 2015.

   If I had a daughter I would want the same for her as any parent would want. A sex tape, a reality show and a perfume.

   How will we know when Adele has had the baby?

   If you step out of the car & behave like a complete 2year old then you better have a bumper sticker reading 'Baby on Wheels!!'

   Well I smell my wife cooking dinner. It's times like these when I wish I had a dog.

   Scientists: Red heads are more prone to skin cancer. Rest of the world: No s hit nerd...

   I wonder if Disney is gonna make the Epcot Center look like the Death Star now

   There's nothing more annoying than the sound of someone you don't like eating. Actually scrap that - There's nothing more annoying than the sound of someone eating!

   After taking LSD last night I hallucinated that I was a very well educated giant. And they say taking drugs doesn't make you big or clever.

   After 2 million years in existence, the pinky finger reveals its true purpose: supporting the bottom of our phones.

   Don't get my attitude confused with my personality. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are.

   So I think Cris Christie and Obama driving around to look at bridges is O.K.,,, but when do they start solving crimes?

   NYC Shine on you crazy diamond

   Smoke alarms going off. Guess the wife's cooking is done...

   Atlantic City Casinos are losing $5,000,000 a day being closed. I guess the "House doesn't always win!

   Below is the list of foreign countries helping the United States with Hurricane relief: Click >HERE< to continue to next page. (Funny how we are ALWAYS there for everyone else.)

   thinking...there are times not to flirt. When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand.

   A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice!!!