Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm dressing as a cop for Halloween and telling ladies to "lick it or ticket!!"

   Finally able to check off Bucket list #19 - Surf through New York City

   If MTV's "Jersey Shore" cast had any class or dignity, they'd give back a few millions to the place that needs it most and made them so famous over the years- Just saying.

   ow you know your neighbor is a redneck when your jack-o-lantern has more teeth then she does.

   If you're a midget, and you don't dress up as a leprechaun and hand out chocolate gold coins for Halloween, then you're just being selfish!!

   For those visiting NY city. Please considerate to respect those that live/work there and remember that all streets are currently considered a NO WAKE zone.

   I don't care if this urinal handle is ten feet up.....I'm still flushing with my foot!!

   They say you are what you eat. I don't recall eating a legend.

   Halloween: The only night of the year a girl can dress up like a complete slut and not have her motives questioned.

   Thank you Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!!!

   NJ Gov Christie has cancelled Halloween… people are being asked to send any previously purchased Candy to the Office of the Governor.

   Girls during Halloween have Definitely made new meaning to Trick. Or Treat...

   A pinata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.

   I've given out the same candy for over 5 Halloweens now. It's a Jolly Rancher... on a string.

   I'm ashamed of this but one Halloween I handed out bouillon cubes. Ha! Joking. I'm not ashamed, it was hilarious.

   Last time I went "trick or treating" for Halloween, I got so high beforehand that I just stood on my own porch ringing the doorbell all night.

   Christmas shopping done.... I got everyone a box with a note in it that reads. "Sorry, the world was suppose to end so I didn't get you anything. Blame the Mayans!"

   it "for f*cks sake" or "for f*ck sake"? It's for work, so I want to make sure this e-mail is professional...

   You make a valid point, but there is a major flaw in your argument. You assume that I'm listening to you.

   I just invented a time machine for you so that you can travel back in time and, quite literally, go f*ck yourself. Twice.