Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I would never make fun of a fat person at the gym. At least they are trying to do something about it and deserve cheers not jeers.

   I think it's safe to assume that 1991 Ice Cube would kill 2012 Ice Cube

   I'm glad that "worchestershire" isn't a word we have to use everyday! I would appear retarded.

   I wished I was in a gang so I'd know what to do with my hand in pictures

   I think Jerry Springer should moderate the next debate.

   canceling my subscription!! I'm tired of your issues.

   I entered the word bit*h into my GPS and guess what, I'm in your driveway!!

   Pulled into the grocery store parking lot, went down one isle and was coming up the other when I saw an open spot one space from the end nearest the door and thought, "what a break"......God I hate Smartcars.

   My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician

   I don't have any old girlfriends. They're all so young.

   The only pain that brings my soul to its knees is hers.

   The best part about pooping with the door open in the morning is being able to see everyone's face at Starbucks.

   I wish I was in a gang so I knew what do to with my hands in pictures.

   "I have 37 pairs of shoes, 23 purses, 9 pairs of sunglasses & an overflowing closet but how dare you waste $200 on that stupid toy!" - Women

   I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and wierd. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her.

   Why can we only bet on horses, why can't we bet on two-bit hookers being chased by knife wielding rabbis? I'd bet on that shi t.

   legend has it that if you romance and violate me equally, i'll do anything you want. - Women

   My favorite part of last night's presidential debate is when I watched the Tigers/Yankees game instead.

   I'm not surprised Kristen Stewart couldn't act faithful. She can't act happy, sad, frightened, mad, shocked or aroused either.

   I overhead my neighbor on the phone telling someone I was creepy and weird. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed to confront her!