Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The cat puking in the middle of my bed was NOT the type of wet spot I was hoping for.

   All I wanted to watch on TV tonight was, "the biggest loser." Looks like he's on network!!

   Obama & Romney focusing on the middle class & refusing to discuss the poor is like Kobe focusing on taking shots & refusing to pass.

   If you can't figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking.

   Does everyone asking questions during the debate have a deviated septum??

   Guys will go to another barber and feel guilty... but cheat on their girl and go home like nothin happened

   We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson.

   Millions Head To Internet To Figure Out Their Own Opinions About Debate...

   Ask Romney to name the ramen flavors since he knows the struggle.

   Heyy I changed my car horn to gun shot sound...People move out the way much faster now ;-))

   You know how America votes off contestants on Dancing With The Stars....That would be such a great idea on Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

   A world where your intellect is measured by 'Followers' and 'Likes'.

   The best curve on a girl is her smile. Lol just kidding, look at dat ass.

   Kanye West would be proud of the amount of times the two candidates interrupted each other tonight.

   Sarcasm is humor with an attitude.

   Excuse me for the lack of updates lately. I'm really busy growing a mustache.

   Obama has 99 problems but Mitt ain't one.

   After a one night stand I scream stranger danger repeatedly until they leave.

   The trickiest tongue twister in the English is apparently '"Sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick''. Give it a try and see for yourself

   When a grammar Nazi gets sad and lonely, give them a hug and say, "There, their, they're."