Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Sometimes reasoning with people is like a cat trying to bury a turd under a concrete tile floor!

   A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

   Happy 35th, Atari 2600

   If you are fighting and someone yells worldstar you better fight for your life

   It's October and soon you'll see those orange round things with scary carved faces everywhere. That's right, the cast of Jersey Shore is on tour.

   Excuse me, is this s tatus taken?

   Some bruises are worth it.

   Felix proved one thing today: No matter how high you go... you will end up on earth!!

   Auditioning for Animal Planet's new series, "I Shouldn't Be Awake."

   Wanna see new features on your TV that you never knew existed? Let a baby play with the remote for about 12 seconds.

   I got fired from work on pajama day... It's not my fault I sleep naked.

   I think there should be an internation law mandating that Kate Beckinsale wear black latex body suits 365 days a year.

   To me, both Presidential candidates seem kinda limp. I think the United States may be suffering from electile dysfunction ツ

   I wish I had a biker chick for my woman. Skinny legs, big b00bs, pot belly, and a face like Popeye.

   I'll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   I'll never be able to run for President because of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

   Shooting has started on a sequel to the movie Superman "Man of steel" to be titled "Balls of Steel" staring Felix Baumgartner

   My Hamster passed today, he fell asleep at the wheel....

   Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day

   I ask a friend why he left his girlfriend. He said "I'm gay, plus in the end is the way I like it."