Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I think it was suppose to be Honey Poo Poo instead of Honey boo boo. Because clearly thats where tv is headed, down the pooper.

   what do you call a bear with no teeth? a gummy bear

   when I run out of toilet paper i'll awkwardly sit there and hope the toilet paper gods on his way

   After he stops crying, can I try again, I promise I can juggle babies.

   The most romantic thing I've ever done is get a girl's name tattooed on my grandpa.

   You mean to tell me people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?

   Axe Body Spray needs a seasonal pumpkin spice scent to drive the ladies crazy.

   Even with all the many different types of social media, nothing beats ignoring idiots in person.

   I just made 8 cinnamon rolls disappear. I'm the saddest magician ever.

   47 min: My monthly record for using my phone as a phone

   ..... YUP ....... Back my day .... computer technology used to be a lot tougher than it is now....... Heck I remember when mice had balls.

   thinks that you're an X-Large fruit basket.

   it's finally time to put the coffee away!! Cheers :)

   Have you ever seen a flock of geese flying in a V formation and wondered why one side is always longer than the other? It's because there are more geese on that side.

   They say you are what you eat...so I'm gonna eat a skinny person

   ahhhhh....the muscle relaxers are finally kicking in.....they work SO much better when you take them with a half bottle of vodka. Wonder why it doesn't recommend that on the prescr

   October 13th is No Bra Day!?!?!? it's everyday for me when I get home from work!

   You're as useless as the G in Lasagna

   Believe in God, but never forget to lock your car !

   please stop quoting the bible on your every other status, we all have our own copies.