Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   This man needs to change. I'll whine and moan at him until he does. That'll work - Women

   Life is short. Do as much damage as you can.

   I just saw an honest political leader, riding a unicorn.

   Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts :: Others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

   if at first you don't succeed, try drinking a beer while you do it. You'll be amazed of much less you care..

   Shaving your head when you're going bald is the ultimate "You can't fire me, I quit."

   i don't have a bucket list.. but my F$cket list is a mile long

   Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Of course, now your life will be shorter than it was yesterday. Way to waste yesterday, MORON!

   I may not be right but I'm a beautiful piece of wrong.

   You say "love means never having to say you're sorry" What I hear is that essentially your love is a narcissistic sociopathic minefield.

   All panties are edible if you're hungry enough.

   If you're going to have a posse, make sure they're clean shaven. Nobody likes a hairy posse.

   You ever wonder why it's only women who need exorcisms?

   She blinded me with science. Fine, it was mace, but she sprayed it very scientifically.

   Ahhh, October. My favorite month, especially all the Halloween booze...

   Just wrote my wedding vows, it says, "I'll love & respect you, for fear of the death penalty for murder." Incase anyone wants to propose...

   It's easier to look for one's inner beauty when the person isn't covered in ugliness.

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single. Just let that sink in..

   Too many men try to extinguish a woman's fire. If you feel her heat, don't bring water, bring gasoline.

   If there's one thing I've learned, it's that I'll never learn