Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Instead of thinking outside the box, why dont we get rid of the box?

   True Story: Seeing a car set on fire with no doors at 12 midnight outside your miami house window is a sure sign KuKluxKlan has been doing some recruiting.

   69% of everything a guy reads, he finds something dirty in it.

   I'm playing the Titanic drinking game. Every time you see someone dead you have a shot of vodka!

   O.K.,, I've got my bucket list.. Now what do I DO with all these buckets.

   Sad news. Morgan Freeman passed away again today. ..This is twice in two months

   I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel... It was 3 weeks from tomorrow.

   Today on Egypt news TV: Morgan Freeman reported as dead....... DNA discovers the missing link to Lazareth

   If you love something,, let it go..... That's EXACTLY what I've done with my body....

   I met a Spanish man with a Rubber toe......his name was Roberto

   Lindsay Lohan was attacked in NYC, but is still alive... Epic. Fail.

   I'd marry a woman based on her ability to make gravy...

   bad sex is better than a good day at work!

   1+1=3 if you don't use a condom.

   I'm sorry, call me old fashioned, but I think shorts should be longer than your v@gina.

   no clue what to do without some glue to sniff

   went on a 9th date with a girl, we watched Batman. so far its been dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMANN!

   Tried submitting the 49ers vs Jets game to pornhub, but they don't allow r@pe

   Relationships are like drugs. They either kill you or give you the best feeling of your life.

   i dont drink. I dont do drugs. I dont even drink coffee. I do pills so its way different.