Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Big girls dont cry (They eat)

   R.I.P Lindsay Lohan... She didnt really but I'm practicing...

   I never called you stupid dear. But when I ask you how to spell Mississippi an you ask the state or the river...it kinda caught me off guard!

   Big girls DO cry (when they dont get to eat)

   Dear Lord.....Please lead the NFL out of this referee lockout and deliver us scab free officiating. Amen.

   If we are all unique, doesnt that mean we all have something in common?

   Romney thinks he should be able to pull up to other Gulfstreams, roll down window and ask for Grey Poupon

   If airplane windows don't roll down, how does the pilot stick his head out the window to make sure his dog is okay?

   I'm like a moth to a beer.

   Save it for someone who's sober and cares.

   They key to forgiving somebody is to remember that sometimes, you're an a$$hole, too.

   If it burns when I pee that just means someone's thinking about my junk right? RIGHT!? GUYS SERIOUSLY

   Failing a suicide attempt makes you a failure at both life and death.

   Dogs and cats are so lucky they can use their tongues on themselves

   aaron roger and the nfl, how do you like those discount double check refs? signed the real nfl officiating crews

   Only those who dare to fall in love will grow a lot wiser.

   there is always someone in the gym shower that thinks she is in a herbal essence shampoo commercial!!

   unappreciated and taken for granted

   Dyslexic zombies crave Brians.

   I once dated a guy named Dave who hated to be called David. Then, I dated a guy named John, who really hated to be called David.