Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A new poll actually found that 47 percent of Americans do not approve of Mitt Romney's running mate, which isn't too bad considering most Americans don't approve of Paul Ryan's running mate !

   Tampons are in the right place, at the wrong time.

   Respect for women, starts with your mother

   Sometimes when I'm bored, I bounce my boobs on the jfdslkhdjkhkjdvvgffdzbsldk;/ffdlskn\/njvglnxlk\cz/\/sl/\sn

   I hate it when a co-worker offers to make themselves “perfectly clear” but then I can still see them…and hear them.

   Worried cause I heard a beep and didn't know if it was my cell, ipod, Wii, Skype, Facebook, email, Twitter or TV but it was just my fire alarm. Phew!

   Sometimes when I get bored I bounce my nuts on the keyboard dfhjyffcbhhhjufddxcbnnkiytredcvhkopihf

   If you don't want me pointing out your faults, don't have so many to choose from

   Ever take a dump so big your pants fit better?

   going to try to act my age tonight!! Said no cougar ever :)

   if you do the crime then expect to do the time!!

   this isn't a bakery, I don't sugar coat anything!

   iPhone > Android > Nokia > Land phone > Typewriter > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > Blackberry

   Android > BlackBerry > Nokia > Fax > Land phone > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > iPhone with iOS 6

   Sometimes Religion is a crutch for the weak, the lazy, the clueless and the plain ignorant. Many times I have witnessed Christianity used as a refuge by some people who cannot deal with life and its daily struggles, so they turn towards religion for help.

   Me: Where is my superwoman? Her: Aaaw! Am in the kitchen babe;) Me: Typo, I meant where is my supper, woman.

   What I want is a woman who loves me for my money, but is really really bad at math.

   What doesn't kill you makes you pour a stronger drink.

   Just had a near-death experience; almost used the wrong toothbrush.

   I have a bad habit of dropping pants as soon as someone knocks my bedroom door.