Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   My transformation into a baby seal is almost complete.

   We all have that place we go to that is full of negatives and disappointment. Mine sadly is my checkbook.

   No special plans tonight, but I'm thinking about throwing rocks at a foreign embassy and then grilling some burgers. Hit me up if you wanna join? My mom is coming too....

   Once you go Bl@ck you never go back. I sure hope that isn't the case with the President

   Since when has being cheap counted as "empowerment"?...Hey, I'm all for getting in touch with the "inner goddess" by pole dancing you're way to "new you", but you can't get lobster thermidore out of a can of tuna. Get a life."

   No, that dress doesn't make you seem fat...but your dependence on others' opinions definitely makes you seem shallow."

   An Apple fan walks into a bar.... Orders the same drink as yesterday, but pays more.

   Just like NOKIA, iphone 5 feutures are the same as previous versions.

   For world economy to stablelise matchsticks should come both sides.

   Sumung s 3 was launched some time ago and iphone 5 can can't beat it.

   Ummmm... Turns out The Royal Family isn't So Stuffy !

   So a film sparked this whole thing.....Have these ppl seen Roots and Shinderlist's List?.....

   tried to kill a spider by drowning it, but it looked at me and asked, "Where's the soap?"

   How about they make a film that makes these ppl give us free oil?

   I know a lot of midget jokes, I'm afraid they will come back to bite me in the ass.

   My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.

   We all have that ONE friend who checks in on Facebook when he is at Hooters and doesn't post pics.... Yeah..... Screw that guy.

   Unfriended me? Wow, you sure showed m

   If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black were drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

   Trust me, as you get to know me, I just get weirder.