Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Females will stop speakin to their friends over the littlest things, but will forgive the same trifling ass dude a millions times.

   You gotta text her goodnight if she special. The other women just get the "oh my bad I fell asleep" text in the morning.

   Fun idea: empty your medicine cabinet and put another mirror in there. Freaks out snooping house guests.

   Just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider's web.

   Guys get hurt too, we just don't make songs about our heartbreaks.

   If your kind of fun doesn't involve bruises, then you are not having the right kind of fun.

   Women: Let me overthink everything you just said, connect them to things you said years ago and pick a fight about it when you least expect

   The lap of luxury is comfortable, but the arms of delusion are snug.

   Labor day this year has been canceled, because people that are with out jobs have forgotten what it's like to have to go to work.

   I've got money left over for condoms or lottery tickets. I'm trying to calculate the odds.

   I like you, even though you raise all kinds of red flags.

   I don't need your permission to correct you if you're wrong.

   We had a good thing going until you made it real.

   Can you just have a will that says, "It's all hers." because it was anyway.

   Every now and then I like to do a complete check of my financial situation. Yep, still nothin'.

   I didn't know what love meant... until I looked it up in the dictionary

   If at first you don't succeed, get her drunk.

   Treat her like a lady and she'll show you her inner slut.

   I like long walks on hot coals and picnics in the ghetto because I'm a thrill seeker.

   To all the pregnant women out there, this is your day. Happy Labor Day!