Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm shocked that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson! Especially, since I don't have any idea who the they are!!!

   I wonder when people without cars pick their noses...

   Yes please tell me your hopes and dreams because I haven't had a good laugh in awhile.

   Religion - because thinking for yourself is hard.

   Perhaps the greatest fashion revolution was moving the pads from the shoulder to the bras

   If I could vote for just Romney's hair, I would.

   If the sheets are still on the bed when it's over, you're doing it wrong.

   I ALWAYS cry after sex because I don't know when I'm getting it again.

   You know I can't stay mad at you masturbation sock!!

   it's so hot, my balls are now best friends with my knees...

   Why do people always pick their noses when they're at a stop light when everyone can see them.

   So....Apparently putting toothpaste on your ass....DOES NOT stop you from being raped in prison.....so much for complete cavity protection!

   You will always find me in the kitchen at parties... unless you've stashed the booze in a different room.

   You know it's hot outside when you see the Pillsbury dough boy climbing back into the oven while muttering "Screw this, I'd rather be in here."

   Former Olympic Skater Nancy Kerrigan was arrested today on a DUI.....She blew 8.6 /7.8 /5.6 /.6.7/and 7.3

   (D)umb (R)etards (A)sking for (M)ore (A)ttention

   Former Olympic Skater Nancy Kerrigan was arrested today on a DUI.....She blew 8.6, 7.8, 5.6, 6.7 and the cop.

   just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one...

   nothing makes me forget something faster than your reminder.

   I keep it real like a bad magician.