Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Don't ever change for anyone. Nothing is worth compromising your beliefs. Unless it's for money.

   This Ramen tastes like unemployment

   #Why #is #the #latest #trend #to #abuse #the "#" #symbol #in #a #status? #English #teachers #have #Twitter #to #thank #for #this! #######

   You can find true happiness inside yourself! Haha, almost had you. I'll meet you at the liquor store.

   Hi welcome to sex with me, I'll be sweating on you and crying for the next 45 minutes

   I think I'm falling in tolerate with you.

   I hate when I can't find a decent status update to steal.

   Being poor is never a reason to hate the rich. You can learn from them, wish & try to be like them, but envy means you have a rotten soul.

   if you want to make me nervous, tell me that you love me.

   It's fun to confuse people by using common sense.

   I hope her spirit animal is a spread eagle.

   Confidence is maturbating with the lights on...blinds open...and the door unlocked.

   They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did.

   My misery loves vodka, and hates company.

   Lets just reveal each other's baggage on the first date and decide whether this romance is even worth pursuing.

   Cleveland Browns sold for one billions dollars. Wow, the value of the dollar has hit an all time low...

   Bought one of those tennis racket looking bug zappers today. My god, where have you been all my life. What fun! Oooh, here comes the dog....

   I've got the solution to this whole anti-gay mess with the fast foods. I'm just going to open a pro-gay franchise and call it Chik-fil-HAAAAAAY *snap*

   Just got bit by a spider, hoping it was radioactive instead of poi

   I want to cover you in expensive things...like gasoline.