Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   1 tequila, 2 tequila,s 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teiuqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklasl, 9 travquikas, 10 trewquwtss

   hahahahahahahahaha=very funy hahahahaha=funny haha=not that funny

   Daughter''Dad I am a lesbian!'' Sister ''Me too dad!'' Dad ''Doesn't anyone like guys around here?'' Son ''I do!''

   Silver for Phelps : ( Someone should have taped a blunt to the other end of the pool, then he would have won the gold.

   If my Boobs sag any more people are going to think they are nuts!

   Dude, she has a Boyfriend! So, soccer has a goalie doesn't mean you can't still score!

   $19.99 because $20 is an outrageous amount of money!

   If the Olympics has taught me anything it's that China may have a population of over 1 billion... but they only have two hair styles.

   Dude, I gave you a pen not a chew toy!

   3AM text message ''Hey are you asleep?''....''No I'm scuba diving!''

   16 and a Olympian > 16 and Pregnent

   When the teacher says you'll be working with partners then adds ''But I'll be assigning them!''

   My girlfriend was looking through my DVD collection. "What's 'Fight Club'? I've never heard of it," she said. It's good to see the system's working.

   I see you speeding up when I'm trying to pass you. Why couldn't you go this fast when I was behind you?

   "So.....you went to college to get a job and you have a job to pay for college." .....What a great economic system the Rothschilds & Rockefellers created!

   I know my limit....until I start drinking

   My ex has so many screws loose that she could open a hardware store.

   It's not true love until they offer to get decapitated, cooked and eaten by you.

   When all is said and done then there is nothing left to say or do.

   My dog pissed on the carpet so I made him smoke a whole carton of cigarettes. Dont blame me, I'm new to this whole dog training thing.