Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   heard on CNN that the blackout in India has affected nearly 700 million people...Good luck getting through to Comcast customer service today! ツ

   I can't really tell the difference between "water polo" or "marco polo", but I know neither one is very thrilling to watch on television. :/

   Being unmarried can shorten a man's life by ten years.... Yeah,, us guys tend to do better when we are properly supervised.

   My anti-social behavior reached a new high today when I was un-invited to a wedding, and it made my day.

   II wish the XXX Olympics gave medals for the ''Clean and Jerk''

   Right now the United States and China are tied in total Olympic medals! Of course we trail in Gold medals because every time we win one we have to turn it over to China to pay our debt!!!

   Before you judge me.......nmake sure you're perfect!

   Went for a job interview! The Boss looked over my resume' and says''For someone with absolutely no experience you sure are asking for a high salary!'' I said ''Well, Du'h...everyone knows the less you know the harder you have to work!!!''

   There's no better feeling than proving someone wrong!

   Penn State.....There's always Academics!

   Sorry I was talking while you were interupting!

   Life is like a roll of toilet paper....The closer it gets to the end the faster it spins!!!

   Let me in, Let me in, Let me in! I need to go back out again!----My Dog!

   Make today ridiculously amazing!

   Just saw a movie where gas is $.63 a gallon. I now believe the 70s never actually happened.

   Micheal Phelps did it again......Smoke weed before swimming, got hungry and hurried up and swimmed to the Golden All-American buffett

   Here's a lesson that no matter how many times I learn it, I always forget: When a woman asks you for your opinion about something, she doesn't actually WANT your opinion; she just wants to hear her opinion said again with a deeper voice.

   My dream girl would be my worst nightmare.

   I believe man first started walking upright to free up his hands for masturbation.

   You chose tragic love story I choose avoiding preventable tragedies