Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   These XXX Olympics are not what I thought they'd be

   Either I'm seriously drunnk or gas prices are high again.... I just got pulled over by a cop on a horse!

   Since the UPS guy won't knock on my door like he should, I'm going to put a motion activated taser by the door. When I hear the THUD, I'll go get my package.

   Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane... ? What were they so excited about?

   Second black out in India in two days......They really need to upgrade those tech support phone line so this will quit happening.

   So apparently Justin Bieber is planning to visit the troops in the Middle East. Taliban, this is your last shot for redemption.

   The downside of being tolerant is all the stuff you have to tolerate.

   I buy cheap underwear because it's poorly manufactured and rips off easily without damaging his teeth.

   Good things may come to those who wait but better things come to those who know how to use their tongue.

   Ladies, if you get in an argument with a guy and you have no chance of winning, start playing with your boobs. Trust me on this one.

   Let's just say, if prematurely ejaculation was an Olympics sport, I would come first.

   Facebook: Where you can be who you wish you were.

   The sexual tension between me and this woman is so high that she's using codes like 'can I take your order?'

   I woke up feeling British, melancholy & vaguely homoerotic. Turns out I left the air conditioner on Depeche Mode all night.

   I'd rather be known for nothing than known for something ignorant.

   Tech Support in India? They cnt even fix their own Blackouts :)

   Blackout in India would have been resolved by now but the electricians can't reach tech support.

   The Obama Administration just created 100 million jobs @ Dell and Comcast by cutting power in India.

   If I eat a Chick-fil-a sandwich it doesn't mean I hate gays. If I eat a Jimmy Johns sandwich it doesn't mean I support the killing of exotic animals. All it means is I really like sandwiches.

   What a rip-off! I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.