Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   So, when does this adulthood thing start then?

   Hmmm,,, So all the instruments used to find "intelligent life" pointed "AWAY" from earth???,,,,, Yeah,, that makes sense...

   Welcome to " Its Friday, b!tch3s!" You may place your attitudes in a laid back or don't give a phock position, underwear is optional, and as always, thank you for joining us on this weekend adventure!!

   They should make untangling headphones an olympic sport.

   I don't do drugs. I just smoke weed.

   80's rock group Starship shocked after hearing the President's speech to find that they didn't build that city on rock and roll, someone else did.

   It puts the lotion in the basket!-Me walking by Bath and Body Works in the mall

   Anyone who calls someone else a bigot is bigot. Your also intolerant of his view. Dumb@ss.

   When people ask me if I play "Draw Something," I take a piece of paper, "draw" the word "NO," and then hand it to them.

   Hey uk at least we know how to put on a opening ceremony. Sincerely china

   opening cerimonies=epic fail...they should have got larry the cableguy.

   Girls who say, "a lot of guys are after me", should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

   I live for the nights I can't remember with the people I'll never forget

   The Olympics would be 10x more fun to watch if only midgets were allowed to compete.

   Thanks to all you that could join my FLASH MOB in London. WE DID IT!!!

   i hope the next thing they spell is "the end"

   If these walls could talk, I'd move out because having talking walls would a little freaky...

   When are these Olympic nuts gonna get it? Hot chicks, in bikinis, jumping on trampolines. The perfect opening ceremony. It can be applied to half time shows too.

   I get zero respect in this house and I know for a fact that I'm the toughest one in here.

   Wonder what events al-Qaeda will be participating in.